Before you can overcome limiting beliefs, you must be aware of what your beliefs are. It’s super important to have a consciousness of the beliefs that we’re operating on. If you’re not aware of the beliefs that are basically the operating system for your mind and ultimately your life, then you’re acting unconsciously; because you’re not even aware of that overarching, driving set of values that impacts and influences your day-to-day actions.
It’s important to be aware of your beliefs and also to reexamine them from time to time. This reexamination will ensure that your beliefs pair up with the way you want your life, your career to be unfolding, your relationships. Examine whether or not those beliefs are inhibiting or supporting the trajectory of your life in these areas.
Your Beliefs Become Your Actions
In Lifestyle Entrepreneur I write about what I call the BTEA framework, which stands for:
It’s actually an energy hierarchy representing, at the highest level, that your beliefs are what govern our thoughts—even the discreet thoughts that we have about any given thing from day-to-day.
The stuff that our thoughts flow from is a derivative of our beliefs and our outlook and worldview. Those thoughts then enter the body and become a physical experience through your emotions, which I think of as energy in motion. That thought energy going through the biology and being felt as emotions – so there’s ambition or fear or love – ultimately results in our actions and that’s the physical manifestation of the beliefs and thoughts that are operating on an intangible level.
In other words, people can normally see and judge us based on our actions and they may or may not be aware of the context, which is shaped by those beliefs and thoughts. That’s the moving downward from the hierarchy, from beliefs to actions, and how to replace or supplant a negative or unsupportive belief.
How A Coach Can Help You Overcome Limiting Beliefs
I definitely recommend getting coaching on taking right action from somebody who is an expert or has authority in that field. Leave it at that—getting a coach to tell you the right actions to take.
It’s like somebody putting training wheels on your bike. You won’t be able to tip over. If you’re getting coaching for any area, whether it’s in relationship or in business negotiation, if somebody is telling you here’s what to say, here’s how to say it, here’s the way to do it, and then you start taking these new actions influenced by a coach, who is an expert and has the experience to give that information, then it changes your emotional response.
Now all of a sudden you’re feeling different from what you were trying before. These different emotions then impact your thoughts and you start to think I actually can do this or I am good at business or I am an attractive guy or I am qualified to lead a group of people. That can replace the beliefs that are otherwise difficult to change.
As a brief example to illustrate what I mean, you can’t just tell somebody who hates their job “Hey, just believe that you’re a successful lifestyle entrepreneur.” You can’t just give somebody throwaway advice to change a deep-seated belief. It has to work its way up through that hierarchy and be a first hand personal objective experience and then a personal decision to change beliefs.
The B-TEA Framework Recap
Essentially beliefs lead to thoughts, which lead to emotions, which lead to actions. So the typical approach might be to try changing your beliefs in order to change the pathway, but you can’t actually change your beliefs first.
The way to change your beliefs is to have someone coach you into new actions, which will then create new emotions, new thoughts, and therefore overcome limiting beliefs by replacing them with new, borne-from experience beliefs.
A subjective personal decision to change is much more easily facilitated by having first hand experiences that change your emotions, your thoughts, and then ultimately allow your beliefs to be replaced.
How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs Without a Coach
If you’re a self starter, if you’re determined, you can get new information, new knowledge reading a book, watching videos, modeling other people’s behavior, people that are having the outcomes that you want, and implement it yourself.
The learning curve is going to be longer without a coach and there’s going to be more trial and error. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing because positive and negative experiences can be equally educational.
One of my mottos for life is to “Learn what you need to know, to do what you love to do, so you can be the person you want to be.” Our discussion here on how to overcome limiting beliefs is part of the broader topic on Identity. Check out Lifestyle Design 101: Discovering Your Identity for more on this
The Most Prevalent Limiting Belief
The most prevalent belief is inadequacy. People often feel like:
Who am I to say this?
Who am I to do that?
Who am I to lead a group of people?
Who am I to go talk to that beautiful girl?
Inadequacy just needs to be thrown in the trash right away because it undercuts your value as a human and emasculates you before you even have a chance to be judged on your own merits.
There’s only really one way to to truly learn and understand and that’s through firsthand experience, building confidence and competence. Some people think you can’t be confident unless you’re competent and you can’t be competent if you’re not confident.
One’s got to come first. You must either be brave enough to take action in spite of your fears, or recognize your lack of skill and do as much as you can with the talent and resources you do have. Either way, the experience will allow you to feel adequate.
Download An Excerpt From Lifestyle Entrepreneur on The B-TEA Framework: How Beliefs Impact Thoughts, Emotions & Actions:
** This post is dedicated to my father on his 65th birthday, the original lifestyle entrepreneur and visionary behind The B-TEA Framework **
Drop a line on the comment thread and let me know what you think or if you have an opinion on this piece, and hope this was helpful.
To your success,